i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
