he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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