she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
