Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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