I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
