Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
