oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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