Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
