and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
