If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
