I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
