I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
