Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
