You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
