i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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