Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
