why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
