never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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