I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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