Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The beer is more important than you right now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
