My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
