I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
