hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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