yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
