worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
