We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
