So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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