that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
