birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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