I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When are your genitals available?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
