Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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