I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
