fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
