that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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