i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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