i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
