Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
