I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize