You really coming over, don't trick.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
