Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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