I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My bed smells like the plague
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