No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
