She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
