my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
