I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I did not marry a roomba.
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