I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
