I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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