i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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