you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
