I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Randomize
