You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
