When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
