I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
