So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
