I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
