He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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