what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
