I wanna passion pit in your ass
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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