i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
