yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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