Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
