god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
